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JOKES OF MOM MOM:

Mom, Mom, at school call me jealous. "Damn them pa! "And to me that, eh?
Mama, mama, at the door are two aliens ... "Two estraterrestres, son? Yes, yes, there are two, mother ... I have told your mother called Planet Us Agostini ...
Mom, Mom, that much is the paella. "Well, son repeat, repeat. "Mom, Mom, that good is the paella.
Mama, mama, I'm tired of swimming. - Shut up or go back to pull the chain!
Mama, mama, the milkman is here, you got money or I have to go out and play in the street?
Mama, mama, what is an orgasm? - What should I know? Ask your father.
Mama, mama, my head hurts. - Shut up and turn away from the target!
Mama, mama, did I already finished with my bath? - Shut up or pull the chain!
Mama, mama, when the pool will be ready? - Shut up and still spitting!
Mama, mama, Tate has been shit. - No, man, not be said to have been made crap. - No, if it has fallen out the window and has become shit.
Mama, mama, how will we find a potato in this course? - Shut up and conceals the sand trap! Mama, mama, "I can scrape the bowl? - Well, do not forget to flush later.
Mama, mama, Pepito is biting the nail to the grandmother. - Johnny, let alone a grandmother or close the coffin!
Mama, Mama, I can go play with Grandpa? - Well, but then it again to get into the cage.
Mama, mama, "I can play with Grandma? - Girl, leave it alone, we've had to bury three times this week!
Mama, mama, the newborn's third has blue eyes - And what do you know if you've never seen - Look at them!
Mama, mama, "the water is spinning? - No child, no. - Mama, mama turns the water? - No child, no. - Mama, mama I fucked in the washer.
Mama, mama, Pepito's ear bitten me. - Jimmy, left alone Anita's ear. - Johnny! Leave her alone, I tell you! - Okay, Johnny, give me that ear.
Mom, Mom, tell me in school mobster, and says Mom, tomorrow I'll fix that, good mom but that looks like an accident ....
Mama, mama, take me to the circus. - No, son, if you want to see you come home.
Mama, mama, "I can play with Grandpa? - Well, but then leave all the bones in place.
Mama, mama, what is a nymphomaniac? - Shut up and help me get the broom in your grandmother!
Mama, mama, open the closet, it's hot! - You say, what about extending the fire?
In film: - Mama, mama, the man who sits beside me is masturbating. - Ignore it, child. - I can not, is using my hand.
Mama, mama, "I can take the original? - Sure daughter, whenever you want. - Thanks, Mom, Grandma ........, the fucking street!
Mama, mama, "America is far away yet? - Hush now baby and keep swimming.
Mama, mama, on TV there is a rush! - And you want, is that record? - No, you clean it!
Mom Mom, in school, I say liar, shut it or go to school ...!
Mom, Mom, Dad runs why so much? Shut up and reload the gun.
Mom, Mom, my brother has been shit, tell the girl as you change it, noo, fell from the balcony.
Mom, Mom, who will send the largest packet that says "Africa"? - Shut up and go back to the box!
Mom, Mom, what is the definition of amnesia? - Umm ... I forgot.
Mom, Mom, what is the definition of elusive? - Go go do homework.
Mom, Mom, what is the definition flatulence? - My son .., this question I stink.
Mom, Mom, what is the definition of hostility? - One more question and give you a slap!
Mom, Mom, do farts are wet? Not bobby, so I have diarrhea!
Mama, Mama, I can not shoot the paunch? Haha, of course son! - Bartolaaa! Come in, my mother left us!
Mommy, Mommy, why the bride is dressed in white? ... It is the happiest day of your life ... Ahhh, "and why the groom is black?
Mama, Mama, I can go play with Grandpa? - Well, but then it again to get into the cage.
Mama, Mama, I can watch TV?, Vale son but did not go to burn.
Mom, Mom, what happened with all the food that "Fido" is not going to eat? "Shut up! ... and make your piece of meat.
Mom, Mom, the thermometer has gone down, The son?, Any mother, she fell to the ground.

Mom, Mom, at school call me stubborn and I will pursue. - And the reach? - No not by hiding in narrow alleys.
Mom, Mom, at school call me clueless, Pedrito no you're wrong, your house is the upstairs.
Mom, Mom, at school call me selfish ... "Ahhh, they send them fuck .... "No, Mommy, I go, I'm yooo!.
Mom, Mom, in school .... call me schizophrenic Do not worry, son, those are things of the children, you know, the old .... NOT THAT ONE !!!!!! RRRESPUESSSTAAAAAAAA ESSS!
Mom, Mom, at school call me rude. - Shut up and eat the soup. - The soup, the soup, I'm up to the eggs of the soup.
Mom, Mom, at school call me son of the cow .- Muuuuuuurmuraciones son Muuuuuuurmuraciones.
Mom, Mom, at school call me naive - No child, what happens is uue your head is full of birds ... AHHHH! Take it away! Take it away!

Mom mum, at school call me monkey - Do not listen and comb your face.
Mom, Mom, in school no one wants to talk to me, mama, mama, where you go, Mom.
Mom, Mom, in the bathroom there are some mussels ... No son, is that Grandpa has cut his nails ...
Mom, Mom, in school I say stubborn, do not listen to them and go to market and bring back three kilos of tomatoes in your cap, please.
Mom, mom, school dientón tell me, do not pay any child, and I shut up you're scratching the floor.

Mom, Mom, I saved twenty dollars today because I came running after me bus. Idiot, she responds, if you had been running after a taxi you would have saved forty.

Mom, Mom, raisins fly, no child does not fly, then I ate a fly!
Mom, Mom, chocolate walk, no son, do not walk, then I ate a cockroach!
Mom, Mom, farts weigh, no child does not weigh, then I shit!

Mom, Mom, do not expect me to sleep tonight ... Why my son? ... Because I'm home.

Mom, Mom, I can go see the eclipse? "Okay, but do not get too close.
Mom, Mom, I do not like my brother, Shut up and keep eating!
Mom, Mom, I do not want to see Niagara Falls! "SHUT UP! and returns to the barrel!

Mom, I do not want to meet my grandfather, shut up and still digging!
Mom, I do not want to go to Europe, shut up and keep swimming!
Mom, I do not want swimming pool, shut up and still spitting!
Mommy, Mommy, tell me in school children alone, children alone ... Mommy? Mommy?? maaaami?
Dad, Dad, do you you hit your mother? my son not only yours.
Daddy, Daddy, what does it cost to get married? I have no idea, son, I have not finished paying the consecuenciasPapá, Dad, what does it mean when the computer goes, "Formatting Drive C:?" Daddy, Daddy, tell me in school hairy. Mary! That the dog is speaking to me!
Dad, Dad, it's true that in ancient China people do not know their wives until after marriage? My son, this has happened always and everywhere.

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BASES 2011 - VIII César Award for Poetry Day

Participation 1.-authors of any source with a single work of poetry, which has not been awarded in other contests not published previously. 2.-

a single modality are established: Castilian.

3.-The subject, meter and rhyme will be free.

4.-The works may be presented with the name of the author or the escrow system. In the first category shall include the name, personal details (address, phone and email) brief CV and a photocopy of the ID at the end of the work presented. In the second mode must include the same information (address, telephone number, email, brief CV and photocopy of ID) in a sealed envelope which is stated on the outside of the title of the work to be stated.

5.-The works should be between 30 and 60 poems. It sent bound, in quintuplicate, typed double-spaced on one side.

6.-The author to be declared the winner agrees to deliver his work in electronic form immediately.

7.-The works will be forwarded to Vicerectorat d'Arts, Heritage and Culture i Universitat de Valencia (C / 2 University, 46003, Valencia), indicating at all times that are competing to "VIII Simon César Award for Poetry." All works will be supported by certified mail sent within the deadline.

8.-The deadline for submission of work will end on April 1, 2011.


9.-The jury will consist of: Rosa Lentini, José Luis Parra, Xelo Candel, Alfredo Saldaña and Begoña Pozo.

10.-The winning work will be rewarded with a prize of 3000 euros and will be published by Editorial Denes in the collection "Calabria". The author, by way Copyright of the first edition, will receive 40 copies of the winning.

11.-The prize is indivisible and can not be combined if they are not awarded the prize of this year.

12.-The originals are not winners will be destroyed.

13.-Any questions generated by these rules will be decided by the jury.

14.-The jury may make final. Their verdict is final. Participation in the competition implies acceptance of its bases. Contact information


http://premiocesarsimon.blogspot.com
e-mail: infopozo@gmail.com


Organization and collaboration
Editorial
University of Valencia City Council Denes


Villar Begoña
Coordination
Pozo

White Lump On The Roof Of My Mouth

Simon Simonian: presentation of "In short eyes" (Ambrose Gallego) and "Between a bore and a clandestine love" (Simon Caesar)

The Poetry Hall of the University of Valencia started the program of activities this academic year 2010-2011 with the presentation books eyes with short ( winning the seventh edition of Simon César Award) and Between boredom and a clandestine love , reprint of the novel César Simón.

The presentation of the books will be held on Monday, September 20, at 20 hours in the Board Room of the Faculty of Philology, Translation and Communication at the University of Valencia and will have the intervention of Josep Lluís Sirera, vice president of Culture, Arts and Heritage, University of Valencia, poets Ambrosio Vicente Gallego and Gallego, the editor, Begoña Vicente Berenguer and Pozo, Poetry Classroom coordinator of the university.

The book of poems with brief eyes of Ambrose Gallego (Peñalsordo, Badajoz, 1963), won last July Simón César award among more than 150 poems arrived from various points of the English, well as from the U.S., Cuba, Chile, Mexico, Argentina, Israel, England, etc. The work, which has been awarded a prize of 3,000 euros, has been published by Editorial Denes in the collection "Calabria".

During the event, will also novel César Simón Between boredom and a clandestine love . The republication of the work thirty years after its publication allows the reader to present the privilege of going to one of the proposals unknown and interesting narratives of the Valencian writer. On this occasion Begoña Pozo, professor at the University of Valencia, has carefully edited volume.